The controlling church leader test
6 min read
Here is a test to help you identify if your church leader is being controlling and abusive. There is nothing wrong with asking yourself these questions about your church leader. Some leaders will tell you that it is evil to even think of such things against your leader. However, just the fact that they are telling you this is a sign of their desire to control you.
Does the Bible say that it's evil to analyze and question a church leader? Not at all. In Matthew 7:16, Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits". Jesus taught us to analyze the fruits of people in order to recognize who they really are.
The Bible congratulates people who reflect, ask questions, and examine things. Acts 17:11 says, "Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so."
In 2 Corinthians 13:5, Paul tells the Corinthian church to examine and test themselves, to see if everyone in their church is truly in the faith.
Not everyone in a church and not every church leader is actually in the real, genuine faith. Therefore, we are asked to examine and test church leaders.The Bible commends this type of behavior, so we can do so without any feelings of guilt.
The Controlling Church Leader test
Question 1
Does your church leader call down God’s judgment on people who leave the church?
If someone leaves the church, does the church leader talk bad about them? Are they told by the church leader that their life will be destroyed if they leave, that God will punish them and that demons will devour them?
Good leaders will pray for people, care for people, love people regardless of their decisions, and kindly warn people if they are going down a dangerous path, but they will never try to judge, shame, or control people.
Question 2
Does your church leader teach that God will speak to them before God speaks to you?
Does your church leader say, "If God wants you to do something in your life, God will speak to me before he speaks to you, because I am your leader". This is false. Every believer has the spirit of God and can receive guidance from God directly.
If a leader is telling you that he is the voice of God for you, then you are surrendering your whole life into the hands of another man. This is not what God wants.
Question 3
Does your church leader teach that their church is the only true church and that all other churches are wrong?
By doing so, the church leader may be trying to keep you from other church leaders who have negative things to say about this leader. By teaching this, the church leader wants to keep you from leaving his church so that he can have you under his control.
Question 4
Does your church leader forbid you to talk to anyone who has left the church?
If so, your church leader may not want you to find out negative things about them from those who left. This would cause them to lose control over you, just like they lost control of those who left.
It may be that your church leader did some wrong things that caused people to leave their church, and they do not want you to find out about it from them. Your church leader would rather make you believe their side of the story.
Question 5
Does your church leader discourage you from spending time with family and friends who don't belong to their church?
Does your church leader discourage or impede you from family time with those who don’t attend their church? It is probably because those individuals have not been brainwashed by them and can serve as a means to remove their brainwashing from your mind as well.
Question 6
Does your church leader overemphasize teachings on submission and obedience?
When your church leader teaches this same topic over and over while emphasizing the consequences of disobedience, know that it’s because they want to use fear to control you.
Question 7
Does your church leader discourage you from reading books that are not approved by them?
When your church leader examines the information that enters your life, it is because they wants you brainwashed and controlled by them, and them alone.
Question 8
Does your church leader forbid you to visit any other church?
When your church leader opposes you for visiting another church without their approval or consent, it’s because they does not want their brainwashing work on you to be lost to another church leader that you could end up following instead of them.
Question 9
Does your church leader publicly humiliate and embarrass people?
Does your church leader purposely make specific people in attendance feel bad or guilty? Does the leader then attribute this to the convicting work of the Holy Spirit? It is the manipulation and control of the leader that is actually behind it.
Question 10
Does your church leader make you afraid to voice any opinion contrary to theirs?
Are you afraid to share anything that goes contrary to what your church leader said because they might get mad at you, embarrass you, or kick you out?
Question 11
Does your church leader break up marriages?
Does your church leader tell people to divorce their partner because that partner does not agree with the church leader? Does your church leader tell people that if their partner wants to leave the church, they must stay and divorce their partner?
Question 12
Does your church leader manipulate people to donate?
Are the church leader's sermons always about giving more and more money? Is the church leader demanding donations of a specific amount? Are people being told that if they don’t give more money, they cannot be blessed, and will instead be cursed by God?
Question 13
Does your church leader say that they must approve every decision in your personal life?
Does every single thing that you do need the approval of your church leader? If you cannot make decisions and think on your own, it is a sign of control. This is far beyond just submission. This is spiritual abuse.
Conclusion
If you find yourself answering yes to several of these questions, you are most likely dealing with an abusive and controlling church leader. You may want to consider leaving them.